Reunions... *insert sigh here*

First of all.... thank you for giving me an outlet to procrastinate some of the work I have to do.

Okay. I'm just going to spit it out.  This weekend I... I am going......


I am going to my 20 year high school reunion.




OKAY!!  I'll say it louder. I am going to my 20 year high school reunion.

I have to say that it has been a little nerve wracking leading up to this thing. I mean, I wanted to have my hot, rockin' body. But.... *looks down*

*sigh*

That's just not happening.  I will be extremely excited to see my friends again. But I am very self conscious about the way I look.  I feel like I have to excuse it.  However, I will try to not be conscious of it while I am there. After all, I have some great achievements.  How is it that I can have my life together in other areas but I am self conscious about my weight?

Do/did you guys have any qualms going into a high school reunion?

Day 57 - New workouts! Guaranteed to train you to seduce your man, or beat him up!

I came across this article about workouts that are different and work your body in different ways.  I had to comment on it because it has one of my absolute favorites in the list! :)  In this blog entry, I'm giving my opinion of these workouts, but for all of the information, read the full article HERE.

1)  Sports Drills - Ever want the body of Gabi Reese? Maybe Anna Kournikova? This drills are designed to improve your skill in certain sports.  While they are generally for certain athletes, some gyms offer classes or training for individuals who just want a different workout.

2) Boxing - I love boxing.  Not only do you learn how to kick some as.... ummm.. butt, you get a great workout.  Trust me, when you do 2-minute rounds of bob-and-weave/hook combos, the next day your abs will be hating loving you.  Really. :) 

3) Boot Camp - Some of you may have already tried this workout.  I have to say I haven't done this. Not since I was in Air Force ROTC in college. And that was about *cough* *mumbled number* years ago.  But I will say this, if it is anything like actual military boot camp?? It's a really awesome workout.

4)  Kettlebell Lifting - I'm going to be honest.  I have never tried kettlebells.  The closest I have gotten to them is watching the contestants on The Biggest Loser sweating and groaning with them.  Maybe my problem is from watching Jillian kill them... hmmmmmm.... *rubs chin*

5) KRAV MAGA - Can you tell which is my favorite??  In fact, I had to put a different picture on here because the one in the article was kind of wimpy.  (I got this picture from an article at chicagonow.com.  Krav is a great, and addictive, workout.  It is the Israeli form of self-defense/fighting.  And let me just tell you - - after a tough day at work? It's therapeutic to go to a class and punch, hit, kick, etc. on a bag.  And women, don't worry, the techniques were specifically formed to be applicable for both men and women.  I have to say it is very satisfying to be paired up with the new guy who says "I don't want to hurt you," which would then be proceeded by you kicking their tooshes.  *insert evil grin here* Moving on!

6)  Muay Thai Kickboxing - Again, a really great workout.  It is similar to Krav in that it is physically intense, uses muscles you didn't know you had, and trains you to be mentally prepared.  I have taken classes in this as well, and it is really incredible.  One thing I can add,  in most martial arts classes, you are using what has been called "bursting energy."  Meaning you go from 0 to 100 in one second.  You will go at very high intensity for a short time, and then have a period of rest.  In fact, since this kind of workout is so different than endurance training, marathon runners and other endurance athletes have a hard time with it.  Makes me feel good actually. :)

7)  Fusion Dance - Okay, I have never tried this, but it seems incredibly cool.  To me, the name 'fusion dance' seemed like a new weird type of dancing that I didn't think I would be into.  However!! I was proved wrong.  What it means is that they have fused several dance styles into one class.  In a class, you may learn to salsa, or waltz, or do ballet, etc. Sounds pretty cool huh? And if you ever become famous and make it to Dancing with the Stars, you will already have a leg up.

8)  Bikram Yoga - For more information, see the article.  I am already wanting to get into yoga to increase my core strength and flexibility.  But adding heat is supposed to increase circulation and help your joints.  Like I said, I don't know anything about it, so I'll refrain from giving judgement.

9)  Belly Dancing - Okay, this just seems really cool and/or fun.  I looks like you would work your abs a TON.  Even those pesky lateral abs.  And hey -- if you want to practice in front of the hubby/fiance/boyfriend?  I'm sure they won't mind. *insert evil laugh here*

10) Exotic Dancing - Now, let's make sure that we have this clear.  They are suggesting pole dancing classes.  Not going out and pole dancing at a bar.  Not that there is anything wrong with that.  Just sayin'.  But man, have you ever seen what those women can do with a pole?? Holy crap.  I'd kill myself.  But it seems incredibly cool.  And again - I'm sure that the man in your life might allow you to practice for him.  Just don't let him install a pole in the bedroom.  It won't match the bedding.  (Maybe.  Although I haven't seen your bedding. I'm just making a guess.)

So there ya go!  If you guys try any of these, and love... or loathe... them, let me know!  What do you guys think?  Are you going to try any of these?

Holy s***balls moments - Part 1

This is Part 1 because I'm sure there will be other holy s*** ball moments.  There always are. :)


It's all skinny jeans and cute tops until you realize your health is involved.......

Day 8 - Weigh in Day. Are you kidding me?!

I'm trying to remain calm, cool, and collected here. I really am.


I've been really good this week.  Seriously.   Using Daily Plate, I've been following the calorie count to lose 2 pounds per week with my normal lifestyle activity level.  (Not including any exercise.) On top of that, I had 4 days of cardio.  So I should see a bit more than 2 pounds right?  In fact, I figured it out.  I should lose around 2.5 pounds. But I'm shooting for 2 pounds.


I got up this morning and was pretty excited to be honest.  What's that scale going to read??


I climbed out of bed.  Groggily (I'm so not a morning person) made my way into the bathroom.  Did my normal morning business. (You know what I mean.  Everyone makes sure they pee before weighing.)  Pulled off my clothes, because seriously - who wants to see excess poundage from clothing.  Step on the scale.


1.5 *BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*in' pounds? Are you kidding me?? I worked that hard for 1.5 freakin' pounds??


*deep breath*


Well, I guess that 1.5 pounds lost is better than 1 pound... or losing nothing... or heaven forbid GAINING.  But man.....  it's hard to shoot for something, think you've got it, and see it fall short.


But I will endeavor to be happy about my 1.5 pounds and not be disappointed. It is, after all, 1.5 pounds less than I weighed last week.  I think I'm going to start tracking my inches so that I know that I'm losing inches even if I don't lose a lot of pounds.


Hope you guys are having a good week!

Day 6 - And the battle against stress eating

DAMN YOU TAXES!!! DAMN YOU!!!!!


*deep breath*  Okay, now that is out of the way....  *clears throat*  I'm sure that when our founding fathers thought "We should have some taxes to pay for government programs" they weren't thinking about little 'ol me 234 years later and the possible effect taxes could have on my diet.  If they were.... shame on you Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, and all the rest of you founding parents of our country! 


But the point it, I've been doing well... chugging along on the weight loss path.  I'm feeling good.  And then..... I had my mom's tax person check my return.  And BAM!!!!  What?? What do you mean I have to add this checkmark on my return?  It's going to add HOW much to my taxes owed??  Where's the nearest cookie? Seriously!  I need a cookie.  NOW.  Don't stand between me and my cookie!  If I have to,  I will mainline it.


But really, what is it that makes you want to chow down when things get stressful?? The urge to shove anything (well, anything available anyway) in my mouth was so overwhelming.  However, I did realize what was happening and I ended up having a yogurt and getting on the elliptical for 20 minutes instead. *pats herself on the back* 


I hope that I can continue dealing with the stress in a somewhat healthy manner instead of shoving food in my face!  Cross your fingers for me!  


And if you are betting on if I will cave in or not, put me down for $10 that I'll stick with it.  (I need the money anyway. :)

I'm FREE!! I'm FREE!!! - Day 5

So... the two people who read this might have noticed I haven't been around.  I had been working 14 hour days trying to get my part done for this project at work.  But I'm done!!!!  I'm FREEEEEEEE!!!


*Jules imagines herself running and leaping through a field of wildflowers singing "The Hills are Alive... with the Sound of Muuuuuusssiiiiiic..." while her incredibly good looking, smart, funny, accomplished, and great in bed boyfriend waits for her with diamonds and champagne* 


Dreamworld screeches to a halt when reality raises its ugly head as my dog sitting beside me farts.  Oh life. *sigh* OH! My lungs! They are burning!


Okay, I just had my oxygen feed going to help my lungs after Farty McFartenston Dog tried to kill me by gassing me to death.  He doesn't mean it.... no really, he doesn't really snicker in his little doggie way as I'm gasping for breath and diving through the window screen to get fresh air. He's a good dog.  *cough*  Moving on!


So as I said, my work has been KILLING me lately.  But I am finally done with this project. Just in time to save my sanity.  And good news boys and girls. I actually got off my toosh and started doing something about my weight.  I know! I'm shocked too.  But it definitely feels different this time around - like a part of my life. 


 I decided that I was going to start this journey on April 1st.  (How weird is it that I picked April Fool's Day to start this journey?)  So I'm only on day five, but I'm feeling pretty good.  I'm using Livestrong's Daily Plate to keep track of what I'm eating and counting my calories. And I'm not even cheating!! (You know we all say "Ummm.. it's that many calories? I bet I didn't have a full serving.")


I also started working out on my elliptical too.  My friend, Katie, came to visit a couple of weeks ago, and I'm afraid to say, she used the elliptical more in her 5 days here than I had in a couple of months.  *hangs head in shame* I know!!!  But, I have since corrected this situation.  This is day 3 on the elliptical, but I'm taking tomorrow off.  I do love having an elliptical in my apt so I can watch the tv and no one can see me huffing and puffing.  


Now that I have bored you guys... let me pose a question... When you guys work out, what do you like to watch??  Do you need something action packed, or can you watch the grass grow?


Okay - off to sleepy time!

Karma and the 12-inch stride from hell...

I'm thinking that the universe is trying to tell me something...

Remember how I told you that I got an elliptical trainer?  Works great, except I can't move the stride lengths because the pin mechanism is broken.  I called.  After about 1/2 hour trying to explain that a brand new machine shouldn't be broken, they sent me the replacement parts and had a gentleman *cough* not-so-gentlemanly *uncough* call me to tell me to call him when I get the parts.

Parts came.

One out of three were backordered.

Still haven't gotten the parts, nor have I had my elliptical fixed.

It's karma.  I finally go to do something good and healthy for me, and what happens? It's broken.  Maybe I did something bad and it's the universes way of telling me what a horrible person I am....  Maybe the swearing and yelling at people on the highway to and from work has come back to bite me in the ass. Maybe it's the revelry I had in daydreaming about my ex-graduate adviser waking up with a missing penis, which shouldn't be too bad since it has to be extremely tiny in the first place.  Or maybe it was the wishing that the woman at the store who was incredibly mean to me got her comeuppance for which she had to grovel at my feet and beg my forgiveness.

Whatever it was, it came back and slapped me down!

Okaaaaaaaaay.... so it doesn't mean that I can't use it.  It's set on the 12" stride which works your quads. But let's be honest here.  After about 1 minute on that setting, and my legs are screaming "What the hell?!?!  Nothing for three years and now this??  Have you started doing drugs or something??"  Sadly, no, I can't blame my self torture on drugs of any kind.  And I'm sure that in some strange parallel universe there's the anti-me who is happy to have this problem and is on the elliptical 10 hours a day, happy as a clam. But this is my universe and the elliptical isn't getting much action.

But!  I vow from this moment to stop grumbling at the brokeness of my elliptical, and ignore the complaints of my quads, and get back up and going.  I'll let you know how it goes. :D

Erik Chopin: Confessions of a Reality Show Loser

I am only 8 minutes into this show and felt the overwhelming urge to write a commentary about this show.  

For those of you who don't know, Erik Chopin (Erik Chopin's Webpage) was the Season 3 Biggest Loser winner.  He was awesome - and looked pretty hot, I might add! :)  He weighed in at 407 lbs at the beginning of Biggest Loser and finished at 193 lbs.  

But now he's crept back up to 368.2 lbs.  He recently decided to be up front with his struggle on shows like Oprah and Biggest Loser's "Where are they now?" recap show.

And tonight he was on a short documentary called "Confessions of a Reality Show Loser."  He was really candid about his struggles with weight especially after the show.  I can almost feel what he must be feeling because I, too, thought "I will never put this weight back on again." And where am I? Back to my highest weight ever.


There are a few things that he talked about on a new documentary  that I wanted to cover.

The part that got me frustrated enough to start this commentary was his wife's reaction.  She started crying and saying things like "I can't go through this again." and "I'm sorry. I feel bad for you."  I know that she just wants her husband to be happy. I understand that. I really do.  But some of the things she said made my jaw drop and wince a bit.  I know that she didn't mean it the way it sounded, but if someone said those things to me, it would have made me feel horrible inside.


But I wish she heard what he said when he said that he didn't want to live and she asked why... he said "Cause I can't figure out what else I should be doing on this planet."  And I'm right there with him.  Weight issues are always about something else besides food.  Sometimes it is about not knowing what is really your passion in life, and feeling like you are trapped in a life that you don't really want. (My words, not his.)

 AH HA! I was right.  He had sold his business while doing the promotion with the Biggest Loser.  And when the money he won and the money from endorsements dwindled, he had to find a job, which meant that he ended up working for/with his dad.  This job he says he doesn't hate but....  like I said, there's no passion.  With that came depression.  With depression comes weight gain. Yeah... I don't know anything about that.  Nope. Not a bit. *cough*  *looking for lightning to strike me down* MOVIN' ON!

 Erik's mom is kind of busting his chops about people asking her about him and "Is he keeping the weight off?" etc.  Followed up by "I have a busy schedule, and I find the time."  And the next part??  What did she cook for them? BABY BACK RIBS!! What the hell?!?!  You can not bust him for weight gain and then feed him baby back ribs. Because..... "It's Sunday." and that's a special day so it should be okay. 

Of course, this has had a toll on their marriage.  The intimacy has gone down, which again, I understand. But I also understand that when his wife and his mother tried to approach him about, it "was not well received" and that he did some head biting. Again, been there, done that. 

The counselor just asked him if he could make a commitment to making different choices, and Erik said "I know the right answer, but I also know... it will be so f'ing hard." (He did say eff-ing, not the actual f-word.)  He knows, and I know, that making the healthy decisions makes you feel fantastic. But when you see how many pounds you have to lose, it becomes almost debilitating when you think about it. 

But the biggest part was admitting that you let yourself become like this and actually own up to it.

Okay, going to post this and if there's anything else, I'll come back and edit. Later taters!

Another article: Taming PMS. Can you tame that kind of thing??

So again... was reading an article on Jillian Michaels.com about Five Tips for Taming PMS.  Wait.... how do they know I'm in the midst of PMS??  What do they know??  Do they have cameras in my apartment seeing me fight (and sometimes not successfully) wanting to eat everything in sight? Do they know I'm in the ravages of PMS this very second??  How did they know I needed to know how to tame my PMS??  Maybe they are psychic.......

ANYWAY -- to pass on this helpful advice: here is what they suggest for keeping the big, bad PMS monster away. (Straight from the above link. My comments are in italics.)

1. Exercise! You may not want to, but get in your workout anyway. The endorphin rush will help relieve cramps and raise your levels of serotonin, a mood-lifting neurotransmitter. Damnit... how do they know what I least want to do when PMSing. ha ha  But I do have the elliptical for a reason.  I really shouldn't have gotten it... no excuses now. :)
   
2. Get some R&R. Adequate sleep and less stress will put you in a better hormonal position to handle the physiological imbalance that PMS brings.  Oh sleep...  how I love thee. But being part vampire (i.e. being a night owl who loves to stay up late) makes getting enough sleep kind of hard. But I do love my sleep. And I will find a way!
3. Cut out most alcohol, caffeine, and salt. Alcohol can exacerbate feelings of depression, so steer clear. Reducing caffeine may minimize breast tenderness and irritability, and cutting salt can reduce bloat. Alcohol, salt *gasp*, and... and... CAFFEINE?!?! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! *falls to her knees and shakes her fist at the sky* Why hast thou forsaken me?!
4. Minimize simple sugars. Ideally, you're doing this all the time, but it's especially important before your period. Simple sugars may increase inflammation, making cramps worse. Eating regular meals and snacks with fiber and protein will help keep your blood sugar stable, which is a lot better for those raw nerves than blood-sugar swings.  *her hand holding chocolate (100 calorie pack) stops midway to her mouth* *puts it down*  What?? What chocolate? *throws it behind her* I don't see any chocolate.  . . . Crap.. now I have to clean chocolate off of white walls.
   
5. Consider supplements. Calcium may reduce symptoms of PMS, so shoot for at least 1,200 mg a day. Magnesium is also helpful, as are B complex vitamins. To reduce the inflammation of cramps and breast tenderness, try a primrose-oil supplement; it's a nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory that may work in ways similar to ibuprofen.  I don't think they make supplements for what I have.  Seriously...

So there you go.  I hope that these tips help you guys as much as it will help me. .... I hope. Later taters!

Diet Busters: Or as I refer to them.. heaven on a stick

I was reading an article on Everyday Health about holiday diet busters.  And someone of them made me cringe with the knowledge of exactly how bad they were for me.  Others, it didn't bother me so much.  I thought I would go through the list with you all and share in my misery ... and make you guys as hungry as it made me. :)  But keep in mind, at the above link, they give you other options instead of the butt enlarging, thigh engourging items below.

1.  Au Bon Pain Carrot Walnut Spice Muffin.  Call me crazy but anything with the word "pain" in it has to be kind of bad. I mean, I know it's french and all, but I don't want anything from a place that has that word in it.  But here's the kicker... that amazing, soft, delicious muffin??  550 calories, 24 grams of fat!!  Wait... my butt just got bigger. Crap.

2.  Dunkin' Donuts Chocolate Chip Muffin:  Again, another one that I can live without.  I think that there's a muffin consipiracy.  Really. Think about it.  When you think of muffin, you think "Didn't our forefathers eat muffins all the time??  They were good hardy stock!"  It makes you feel all warm and fuzzy.... but then you find out that the item you relied on is 590 calories and 24 grams of fat.  That's tantamount to going on the perfect date, having a little bit too much wine, bringing the guy home just to wake up alone with some money on the nightstand. *sigh*  Not that that's happened to me.  Seriously.

3.  Mrs. Fields Semi-Sweet Chocolate & Walnuts Cookie:  I would just like to say, my cookies would kick Mrs. Fields' cookies in the butt.  Just sayin'.  But here's the deal.. 310 calories and 16 grams of fat. Mine certainly doesn't have that many calories and fat in them.  I take the calories out. *cough* *choke* *looks for lightning to strike her dead*  Actually, their recommendation is Chocolate Chip Cookies made with part apple sauce. I hear it's pretty good. Check the above link.

4. Krispy Kreme Glazed Creme Filled Doughnut - 360 calories, 19 grams of fat. Again, something I can live without.  Doughnuts have never been a big deal for me. Although, if someone brings them to work and there's all that luscious glaze just calling my name.... I do generally give in.

5.  Jamba Juice Peanut Butter Moo'd - 860 calories, 21 grams of fat.  I have to say, I have never had one of these. I personally prefer the Strawberries Wild (250 Calories).  But they have to menu and nutritional info out up front so you can peruse until you find something that you like and fits your calorie count. :)

6.  Cinnabon Classic Roll - Now I know what you are all saying.  "But it's CINNABON!  Isn't it at least no calories when you are stuck in the airport and you are smelling all of that Cinnabon-iness??"  But no... sorry.  Even the airport Cinnabon will deliver you 730 calories, 24 grams of fat. I know.  But try to resist.  Put the earplugs you brought for the flight in your nose, and you won't smell it!

7.  Starbucks Grande White Chocolate Mocha - 480 calories, 20 grams of fat (with whole milk).  There are LOTS of fixes for this.  First, go to the Starbucks online menu and nutritional info.  Pick out the drink best for you.  First off, go with skim milk and no whipped cream.  But here's something I have been doing lately: Buy the Starbucks "Via" packets.  They are instant coffee packets but taste GREAT! I add a package of hot chocolate with it and VOILA! Cafe Mocha! Woo hoo!

So there ya go!!  

Wait... what? I have no excuse now?

DAMNIT! Foiled again!

I got my elliptical today. WOO HOO! Although now, all excuses for not getting cardio in are voided. But that's okay.  I put it together myself over the course of a few hours. And I was really excited.... but it was too good to last.  My elliptical has an adjustable stride length.  The kind were you pull the pin and adjust the bars.  But I went to adjust it.  So I pulled the pin... and I pulled... and pulled harder... got down on the floor and braced my feet against the machine and pulled with two arms.  NOTHING! 

My brand new NordicTrack elliptical is broken. *sigh*  But they are sending the part out and a technician. But I have to wait another week.  That's incredibly annoying.  No?

But I can now get cardio in while watching TV which I think it way cool.

Jennie's Advice

I recently discussed weight loss/exercise with a friend of mine, Jennie.  Jennie has a claim to fame on this blog by coming up with the title "Climbing out of the Lard Pit."  She's a funny gal!

Now, I have never considered Jennie overweight in the slightest, but she has been taking health and exercise quite seriously. She has some major self will and determination!  I wanted to ask her, since she has a rockin' post- *garbled mumbled age* body, what her regiment was and if she had any tips for me.

The first thing she said, and I totally agree, is that you have to make the decision.  I know that is the reason I was unwilling and unable to do anything about my weight before this.  I just hadn't gotten to the place where I was ready to do it.  Get your mind in the right place, and it will happen from there.

One tool that Jennie found extremely helpful for her and suggested for me is Livestrong's "The Daily Plate."  I took a look at it and it really is a great website tool.  It allows you enter how many pounds a week you want to lose and it calculates how many calories you need eat for that weight loss.  (Just don't put in 10 pounds for a week okay?)  You can track the foods you eat and get your calorie count for the day  - - which forced some accountability on you too. (As long as you don't "forget" to add that donut you had at this office. ha ha) You can enter any exercise that you do to find out how many calories you actually burned.  And the best part is that it's free.  YAY!  Something worthwhile that you don't have to pay for. Isn't that something?? :)

Something that worked for Jennie is the dreaded 'no eating after 8pm.'  That's a hard thing to do for night owls like us!  Also, if you need a snack during the day, pick something like one package of light string cheese (60 calories), or a piece of fruit or a veggie.  That is much better than chips out of the vending machine (even if they are baked chips).

For exercise, when she's not hitting the gym hardcore, she suggests an 1 1/2 hours at the gym.  I didn't write this down but I think that is an hour of cardio and 1/2 hour of weights.  When she's hitting the gym hardcore, it can be anything from yoga to weight training to cardio classes to treadmill, etc.  And if I'm correct, I believe she hits the gym twice a day when she's hardcore.  Let me tell ya -- this woman has some determination!!  Did I mention she runs marathons too?  I know... I think she's crazy too. :)  But what can I say? I like crazy people.

And so ends Volume 1 of "Fabbity Fab Advice from the Dr. Ruth's of Health and Wellness to the Attempting Escapees of the Lardpit."

Attack of the angry garden gnomes

So it has been a while since I have posted. My excuse?? Ummm.... I fell in the toilet and got stuck. And living off of the dog food that my dog brings me.....  Which is a good thing because my cat would just come in to get pet and ended up hording her own food.  I'm glad I got unstuck because she was eyeing me like I was a juicy T-Bone and was getting ready to Nom-nom-nom on my rather large toosh once I went to the golden toilet in the sky.  Don't believe it?  Ummmm..... I have been held captive by angry garden gnomes. They locked me in a room and forced me to play Scattergories with them non-stop for weeks.  I don't know why they have something against me.  I've never owned a garden gnome in my life.  Luckily, while they were arguing over how many points they get, I was able to gnaw through the ropes and escape out of the air duct.  (It was a really large air duct.)  No?? Damnit!  OKAY!  Fine!  I've been sucked into life and work.  *insert sigh here*  This life/work thing gets in the way of fun things like writing!

 BUT ---- now I'm back. YAY!  Did you guys miss me? Oh wait... I think I'm writing just to myself.  But that's okay.  So I have several things I want to write about, but I will do that in other posts.  Before I do that, I'll give you an update.

I finally stepped on the scale.  I KNOW!  I hate that thing, at least right now I do.  And as depressing as this is to admit, I am officially the heaviest I have ever been.  However, that doesn't mean that I will stay this way.  But here's the good thing: something happened lately.  I have been more positive, inspired, and ready to go.  You know how you have to have a point where you just get tired of it and decide to change things?  Well, I'm there.  It took a long time - try a couple of years, but I finally got there.

The other good thing: I bought an elliptical!  WOO HOO! Now I can exercise if I want to watch TV or if it is later in the day or in the morning before going to work. YAY!  I figure that even if I have it on lower resistance, it's still better than sitting my toosh on the couch!  And of course getting a decent workout in 5 days a week.  I'm excited!

So how is everyone else doing? Are you gearing up for the holidays? Or letting things go? Let me know!

Birthday food crash! (And helpful tips for the non-20 somethings.)

It's my birthday today!  (10/15) And as such, it is allowable to ... how shall we say? ....  steer away from the straight and narrow of the weight loss path.  Right??

RIGHT?!?!?!?!

I knew you would see it my way.

Now, I am laying on the couch and trying not to think of how full I am.  OH! Supernatural is coming on the tv.  Be back after.

Man... Jensen and Jared. SO yummy.  Okay... sorry.  Where was I before the testosterone made me all drool-y and all?  Oh right... birthday... and how it gives us the excuse to let loose!  Only to dread getting on the scale for the next few days.  But I am now officially closer to 40 than I am 30.  I should be allowed to let loose a little bit. SO THERE!

What??  I AM NOT SENSITIVE ABOUT MY AGE.

No.... I am not.

Am not.

Am not!!

Am NOT!!!!!

AM NOT!!!!!!

Sorry.  I don't know what came over me.   But really, the older you get, the harder it is to loose weight.  Recently I read an article about women's health on Prevention Magazine's website titled Win at Weight Loss How an exercise pioneer fights over-40 fat, and one of the tips given was:

"Many women think if they can't do an hour of exercise every day, they may as well do nothing," says Nelson. [Miriam Nelson, PhD] But you can see results with far less. Nelson should know--that's how she stays healthy: "There are plenty of days that I have just 10 minutes to fit in a walk. At least once during the week, I get in a run or bike ride. Then on the weekend, I exercise a lot more."

 This is a great tip! Especially for those of us who may be able to work out at lunch or right after work, but can't spend 6 hours in the gym.  The article goes on to give cardio schedules for different situations, whether you want to break out of a plateau, or lose some inches, etc. Go read it!  It might give you some ideas.

Okay ... waddling off to fight the food coma now.

P.S.  I may or may not be able to blog in the next few days.  Have tons of work that needs to get done pronto.  See you guys soon!

Biggest Loser 10/13/09

Another Biggest Loser! As I sit my toosh on the couch and watch. lol  Again - long, long post.

Why I am the way I am....

Serious Blog Post Warning!

For the most part, I have been pretty athletic in my life.  I started playing softball when I was around 10.  I played volleyball, but never played for the school team. (Because the coach hated me.  No seriously. She did.)  And I know that when I say this, you will say "What? You geek. That's not athletic!" But I was on the color guard, aka flagline, in marching band.  You may think that it's not athletic, but it really is!

Then in college, I was in Air Force ROTC. (I wanted to be a fighter pilot.) And let me tell you, they don't let you be out of shape.  Really.  Although, according to them, I was overweight.  Yeah... I was a size 8 or 10 at the time, but I was overweight. *sigh*  I also was on the crew (aka rowing) team/club.

But then came the first point in my life that I was truly overweight - when I was in an unhappy marriage.  Yeah.. I know.  It was stupid to get married at age 21.  Some people can do it! I wasn't one of them.  And he was a *BLEEP*.  :D  Then, after the divorce, miracle of miracles!  I lost the weight.  I started watching what I was eating and going to the gym.  It was great!  When I lived in Arizona, I stayed in shape by going to the gym and watching the food intake.  I got involved with Krav Maga (Israeli Self-defense/fighting technique).  Now that was addictive!  I practically lived there. 

But then......  grad school.  Dun dun DUN!!! At first it was okay.  Really, it was.  And then......  the grad student that was my prof's kicking bag was kicked out of grad school by said professor.  And guess who got the crap end of the stick? Oh you guessed it!  ME!  Keep in mind that I can handle hard work.  The work didn't bother me.  Getting abused by my professor did.  It was seriously like an abusive relationship, but instead of being able to say "Kiss my @$$ buddy, there's the door!", I had to take it.  My choices were 1) To give up everything I had worked for since I was 12 years old, but be happy. Or 2) Grit my teeth and push through it all, but be miserable and possibly lose myself in the process.  I chose to stay and get my degree. And I have to be honest.  There are days that I don't know if it was worth it. 

That experience changed me and not in a good way.  Every day, I had questioned whether I was going to get yelled at, never knowing what was going to set him off.  And I'm not talking just yelling. I'm talking the inch away from my face where spit actually hit me, threatening kind of yelling.  Not to mention that there were times I thought I was going to have to physically defend myself.  Then there was the verbal abuse.  Even other professors were shocked at what he would say to me.  (He didn't care if he had an audience or not. After all, what could happen to him?)  It was at a point where if we had one-on-one meetings, I would tape record the conversations just in case something happened, I would have proof.

And that was when I stopped working out and started eating.  I think why I became overweight and why I still remain overweight boils down to a few factors. 1) Being unhappy.  I used to cry all of the time.  It was a miserable place to be in my life, and I still feel traces of it now. 2) Lack of confidence.  I allowed him to destroy any confidence I had in myself.  To the point where I still have trouble speaking up about my professional opinion. 3)  Being overweight gives me a great excuse to not put myself out there and to stay in my comfort zone.  And 4) And probably the most important: He took away any control I had in my life.  That is a very, very scary thing for me.

The problem is, I'm still not over it.  I know I went through all of that for years before I could get out, and that I should realize that it is going to take me a while to work through those issues.  But the fact of the matter is, I have to.  If I want to get control back in my life, I have to work through these issues, grab the reins, and guide myself back on track.

So that's a shortened (Did I really say it was short? HA!) version of why I got to the place that I am.  Now... I just have to confront my demons and push forward.

Really? They had to do a study to know this?

I just read a short article about women's health titled Troubled Minds Can Mean Wider Waistlines that stated... 

"Common mental health disorders, such as anxiety and depression, may increase a person's risk of obesity, and people with repeated episodes of these disorders are particularly at risk, British researchers say."

 Really?  They needed to do a 19 year study on if depression and anxiety lead to obesity??  I think everyone knows that a large percentage of people  eat when they are sad or anxious.  That's a given fact.  But the good thing that came out of it was that they also found..

"Contrary to some previous research, this new study found little evidence that obesity leads to common mental health disorders in people with no pre-existing mental health problems, wrote Mika Kivimaki, of University College London, and colleagues."

Well, that's definitely good news!

I think that we all should examine what caused us to get to be overweight in the first place.  I read a few blogs (will insert links in an edit) that looked at causes of their being overweight.  And I've decided to bear all (not literally - don't want to make anyone sick!) about what caused me to be overweight in the first place.  Maybe once I confront it head on, I'll be able to move on. Here's hopin'!

Shopping, or as I like to call it, the descent into hell.

You know, I used to love to go shopping.  It was great to walk into work or go out with friends with a new outfit and just feel like you rock!  I literally have a closet full of clothes in my smaller size.  Cute clothes... all lined up, ready to be worn.  I can almost hear them say "Maybe today she will be thin!" Then I open the door, "Nope.  Stand down!  Still the same as always.  Anyone got some cards? We're going to be here for a while."

*sigh*

Shopping now??  I stay away as long as humanly possible.  I could have frayed jeans with holes and everything and still think, "I could get away with that for another week or so." Because let's face it, no one wants to go into a store, grab clothes that they think are their size, only to find out that when you try those jeans on, they won't go past your knees. Or you try to button that blouse and it looks like there are small keyhole openings all the way down the buttoned seam.  It's just too much to take!!

Now when I go shopping, I can be pretty good about picking my sizes so that doesn't happen too much.  But there are a couple of other things that happen when out shopping.  One:  What is it with designers thinking that everyone who is overweight has no sense of fashion?!  I have to say, it has gotten better, but they are still out there!  Is it so much to ask to try to make my boobs not look like two mountains? And to de-accentuate the fact that I have a shelf-ass?  (Def: Shelf-ass.  A type of shape of a person's derriere. In this such case, the shape of the buttocks creates the form of a shelf.  Useful for setting down items, such as drinks, cell phones, or a television remote, in one's possession if no table is around.) And it is always interesting when the store attendants try to tell you that it looks great on you  --- when you know that it doesn't.

Okay, I need to cut this short but let me just say: No matter if I have had bad experiences shopping or good experiences, the fact is that I can't wait to be excited to go shopping again! I want to wear my current cute clothes and go shopping for new ones.  And I can't wait to wear my small jeans again.  

But you have a pretty face... and other wanna be compliments...

I am sure that at some point, all of us have run into those people... you know the ones I'm talking about.  The people who really mean well, who want to give you a compliment.  But it just turns out all wrong. The ones that intend to make you feel better, but make you want to find the nearest gas oven and measure it to see if your head fits in.  There are all types of half compliments, but the one that drive me nuts?

"You have such a pretty face."

Now, I'm aware that people mean this as a great compliment.  But what it really means?

"You're face is pretty, but the rest of you is complete crap."

I swear, if I hear that one more time, I am going to strangle someone.  Or come up with really weird things to compliment like "Those sunglasses make your nose look so much smaller." or "Your new bra really hides the sagginess." or "The jeans you have on today make you have a much smaller muffintop!"  They are compliments! Just in a weird, psychotic, make-you-second-guess-your-appearance kind of way.

My question: Have you had 'compliments' like that? Did you ever say anything about it and if so, what did you say? (And bonus points if the other person responded with 'shock face.')

Biggest Loser 10/6/09

Some people may know this but I am a fan of the Biggest Loser show.  I love seeing people work and reach their goals.  I'm going to start giving my take on the show and what goes on.  I will follow the intro with a jump break so if you don't want spoilers, don't read below.

Caveat: I may forget some names or misspell them. Also, this is going to be one LONG post. Beware!