Another article: Taming PMS. Can you tame that kind of thing??

So again... was reading an article on Jillian Michaels.com about Five Tips for Taming PMS.  Wait.... how do they know I'm in the midst of PMS??  What do they know??  Do they have cameras in my apartment seeing me fight (and sometimes not successfully) wanting to eat everything in sight? Do they know I'm in the ravages of PMS this very second??  How did they know I needed to know how to tame my PMS??  Maybe they are psychic.......

ANYWAY -- to pass on this helpful advice: here is what they suggest for keeping the big, bad PMS monster away. (Straight from the above link. My comments are in italics.)

1. Exercise! You may not want to, but get in your workout anyway. The endorphin rush will help relieve cramps and raise your levels of serotonin, a mood-lifting neurotransmitter. Damnit... how do they know what I least want to do when PMSing. ha ha  But I do have the elliptical for a reason.  I really shouldn't have gotten it... no excuses now. :)
   
2. Get some R&R. Adequate sleep and less stress will put you in a better hormonal position to handle the physiological imbalance that PMS brings.  Oh sleep...  how I love thee. But being part vampire (i.e. being a night owl who loves to stay up late) makes getting enough sleep kind of hard. But I do love my sleep. And I will find a way!
3. Cut out most alcohol, caffeine, and salt. Alcohol can exacerbate feelings of depression, so steer clear. Reducing caffeine may minimize breast tenderness and irritability, and cutting salt can reduce bloat. Alcohol, salt *gasp*, and... and... CAFFEINE?!?! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! *falls to her knees and shakes her fist at the sky* Why hast thou forsaken me?!
4. Minimize simple sugars. Ideally, you're doing this all the time, but it's especially important before your period. Simple sugars may increase inflammation, making cramps worse. Eating regular meals and snacks with fiber and protein will help keep your blood sugar stable, which is a lot better for those raw nerves than blood-sugar swings.  *her hand holding chocolate (100 calorie pack) stops midway to her mouth* *puts it down*  What?? What chocolate? *throws it behind her* I don't see any chocolate.  . . . Crap.. now I have to clean chocolate off of white walls.
   
5. Consider supplements. Calcium may reduce symptoms of PMS, so shoot for at least 1,200 mg a day. Magnesium is also helpful, as are B complex vitamins. To reduce the inflammation of cramps and breast tenderness, try a primrose-oil supplement; it's a nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory that may work in ways similar to ibuprofen.  I don't think they make supplements for what I have.  Seriously...

So there you go.  I hope that these tips help you guys as much as it will help me. .... I hope. Later taters!

Diet Busters: Or as I refer to them.. heaven on a stick

I was reading an article on Everyday Health about holiday diet busters.  And someone of them made me cringe with the knowledge of exactly how bad they were for me.  Others, it didn't bother me so much.  I thought I would go through the list with you all and share in my misery ... and make you guys as hungry as it made me. :)  But keep in mind, at the above link, they give you other options instead of the butt enlarging, thigh engourging items below.

1.  Au Bon Pain Carrot Walnut Spice Muffin.  Call me crazy but anything with the word "pain" in it has to be kind of bad. I mean, I know it's french and all, but I don't want anything from a place that has that word in it.  But here's the kicker... that amazing, soft, delicious muffin??  550 calories, 24 grams of fat!!  Wait... my butt just got bigger. Crap.

2.  Dunkin' Donuts Chocolate Chip Muffin:  Again, another one that I can live without.  I think that there's a muffin consipiracy.  Really. Think about it.  When you think of muffin, you think "Didn't our forefathers eat muffins all the time??  They were good hardy stock!"  It makes you feel all warm and fuzzy.... but then you find out that the item you relied on is 590 calories and 24 grams of fat.  That's tantamount to going on the perfect date, having a little bit too much wine, bringing the guy home just to wake up alone with some money on the nightstand. *sigh*  Not that that's happened to me.  Seriously.

3.  Mrs. Fields Semi-Sweet Chocolate & Walnuts Cookie:  I would just like to say, my cookies would kick Mrs. Fields' cookies in the butt.  Just sayin'.  But here's the deal.. 310 calories and 16 grams of fat. Mine certainly doesn't have that many calories and fat in them.  I take the calories out. *cough* *choke* *looks for lightning to strike her dead*  Actually, their recommendation is Chocolate Chip Cookies made with part apple sauce. I hear it's pretty good. Check the above link.

4. Krispy Kreme Glazed Creme Filled Doughnut - 360 calories, 19 grams of fat. Again, something I can live without.  Doughnuts have never been a big deal for me. Although, if someone brings them to work and there's all that luscious glaze just calling my name.... I do generally give in.

5.  Jamba Juice Peanut Butter Moo'd - 860 calories, 21 grams of fat.  I have to say, I have never had one of these. I personally prefer the Strawberries Wild (250 Calories).  But they have to menu and nutritional info out up front so you can peruse until you find something that you like and fits your calorie count. :)

6.  Cinnabon Classic Roll - Now I know what you are all saying.  "But it's CINNABON!  Isn't it at least no calories when you are stuck in the airport and you are smelling all of that Cinnabon-iness??"  But no... sorry.  Even the airport Cinnabon will deliver you 730 calories, 24 grams of fat. I know.  But try to resist.  Put the earplugs you brought for the flight in your nose, and you won't smell it!

7.  Starbucks Grande White Chocolate Mocha - 480 calories, 20 grams of fat (with whole milk).  There are LOTS of fixes for this.  First, go to the Starbucks online menu and nutritional info.  Pick out the drink best for you.  First off, go with skim milk and no whipped cream.  But here's something I have been doing lately: Buy the Starbucks "Via" packets.  They are instant coffee packets but taste GREAT! I add a package of hot chocolate with it and VOILA! Cafe Mocha! Woo hoo!

So there ya go!!  

Wait... what? I have no excuse now?

DAMNIT! Foiled again!

I got my elliptical today. WOO HOO! Although now, all excuses for not getting cardio in are voided. But that's okay.  I put it together myself over the course of a few hours. And I was really excited.... but it was too good to last.  My elliptical has an adjustable stride length.  The kind were you pull the pin and adjust the bars.  But I went to adjust it.  So I pulled the pin... and I pulled... and pulled harder... got down on the floor and braced my feet against the machine and pulled with two arms.  NOTHING! 

My brand new NordicTrack elliptical is broken. *sigh*  But they are sending the part out and a technician. But I have to wait another week.  That's incredibly annoying.  No?

But I can now get cardio in while watching TV which I think it way cool.

Jennie's Advice

I recently discussed weight loss/exercise with a friend of mine, Jennie.  Jennie has a claim to fame on this blog by coming up with the title "Climbing out of the Lard Pit."  She's a funny gal!

Now, I have never considered Jennie overweight in the slightest, but she has been taking health and exercise quite seriously. She has some major self will and determination!  I wanted to ask her, since she has a rockin' post- *garbled mumbled age* body, what her regiment was and if she had any tips for me.

The first thing she said, and I totally agree, is that you have to make the decision.  I know that is the reason I was unwilling and unable to do anything about my weight before this.  I just hadn't gotten to the place where I was ready to do it.  Get your mind in the right place, and it will happen from there.

One tool that Jennie found extremely helpful for her and suggested for me is Livestrong's "The Daily Plate."  I took a look at it and it really is a great website tool.  It allows you enter how many pounds a week you want to lose and it calculates how many calories you need eat for that weight loss.  (Just don't put in 10 pounds for a week okay?)  You can track the foods you eat and get your calorie count for the day  - - which forced some accountability on you too. (As long as you don't "forget" to add that donut you had at this office. ha ha) You can enter any exercise that you do to find out how many calories you actually burned.  And the best part is that it's free.  YAY!  Something worthwhile that you don't have to pay for. Isn't that something?? :)

Something that worked for Jennie is the dreaded 'no eating after 8pm.'  That's a hard thing to do for night owls like us!  Also, if you need a snack during the day, pick something like one package of light string cheese (60 calories), or a piece of fruit or a veggie.  That is much better than chips out of the vending machine (even if they are baked chips).

For exercise, when she's not hitting the gym hardcore, she suggests an 1 1/2 hours at the gym.  I didn't write this down but I think that is an hour of cardio and 1/2 hour of weights.  When she's hitting the gym hardcore, it can be anything from yoga to weight training to cardio classes to treadmill, etc.  And if I'm correct, I believe she hits the gym twice a day when she's hardcore.  Let me tell ya -- this woman has some determination!!  Did I mention she runs marathons too?  I know... I think she's crazy too. :)  But what can I say? I like crazy people.

And so ends Volume 1 of "Fabbity Fab Advice from the Dr. Ruth's of Health and Wellness to the Attempting Escapees of the Lardpit."

Attack of the angry garden gnomes

So it has been a while since I have posted. My excuse?? Ummm.... I fell in the toilet and got stuck. And living off of the dog food that my dog brings me.....  Which is a good thing because my cat would just come in to get pet and ended up hording her own food.  I'm glad I got unstuck because she was eyeing me like I was a juicy T-Bone and was getting ready to Nom-nom-nom on my rather large toosh once I went to the golden toilet in the sky.  Don't believe it?  Ummmm..... I have been held captive by angry garden gnomes. They locked me in a room and forced me to play Scattergories with them non-stop for weeks.  I don't know why they have something against me.  I've never owned a garden gnome in my life.  Luckily, while they were arguing over how many points they get, I was able to gnaw through the ropes and escape out of the air duct.  (It was a really large air duct.)  No?? Damnit!  OKAY!  Fine!  I've been sucked into life and work.  *insert sigh here*  This life/work thing gets in the way of fun things like writing!

 BUT ---- now I'm back. YAY!  Did you guys miss me? Oh wait... I think I'm writing just to myself.  But that's okay.  So I have several things I want to write about, but I will do that in other posts.  Before I do that, I'll give you an update.

I finally stepped on the scale.  I KNOW!  I hate that thing, at least right now I do.  And as depressing as this is to admit, I am officially the heaviest I have ever been.  However, that doesn't mean that I will stay this way.  But here's the good thing: something happened lately.  I have been more positive, inspired, and ready to go.  You know how you have to have a point where you just get tired of it and decide to change things?  Well, I'm there.  It took a long time - try a couple of years, but I finally got there.

The other good thing: I bought an elliptical!  WOO HOO! Now I can exercise if I want to watch TV or if it is later in the day or in the morning before going to work. YAY!  I figure that even if I have it on lower resistance, it's still better than sitting my toosh on the couch!  And of course getting a decent workout in 5 days a week.  I'm excited!

So how is everyone else doing? Are you gearing up for the holidays? Or letting things go? Let me know!