Another article: Taming PMS. Can you tame that kind of thing??

So again... was reading an article on Jillian Michaels.com about Five Tips for Taming PMS.  Wait.... how do they know I'm in the midst of PMS??  What do they know??  Do they have cameras in my apartment seeing me fight (and sometimes not successfully) wanting to eat everything in sight? Do they know I'm in the ravages of PMS this very second??  How did they know I needed to know how to tame my PMS??  Maybe they are psychic.......

ANYWAY -- to pass on this helpful advice: here is what they suggest for keeping the big, bad PMS monster away. (Straight from the above link. My comments are in italics.)

1. Exercise! You may not want to, but get in your workout anyway. The endorphin rush will help relieve cramps and raise your levels of serotonin, a mood-lifting neurotransmitter. Damnit... how do they know what I least want to do when PMSing. ha ha  But I do have the elliptical for a reason.  I really shouldn't have gotten it... no excuses now. :)
   
2. Get some R&R. Adequate sleep and less stress will put you in a better hormonal position to handle the physiological imbalance that PMS brings.  Oh sleep...  how I love thee. But being part vampire (i.e. being a night owl who loves to stay up late) makes getting enough sleep kind of hard. But I do love my sleep. And I will find a way!
3. Cut out most alcohol, caffeine, and salt. Alcohol can exacerbate feelings of depression, so steer clear. Reducing caffeine may minimize breast tenderness and irritability, and cutting salt can reduce bloat. Alcohol, salt *gasp*, and... and... CAFFEINE?!?! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! *falls to her knees and shakes her fist at the sky* Why hast thou forsaken me?!
4. Minimize simple sugars. Ideally, you're doing this all the time, but it's especially important before your period. Simple sugars may increase inflammation, making cramps worse. Eating regular meals and snacks with fiber and protein will help keep your blood sugar stable, which is a lot better for those raw nerves than blood-sugar swings.  *her hand holding chocolate (100 calorie pack) stops midway to her mouth* *puts it down*  What?? What chocolate? *throws it behind her* I don't see any chocolate.  . . . Crap.. now I have to clean chocolate off of white walls.
   
5. Consider supplements. Calcium may reduce symptoms of PMS, so shoot for at least 1,200 mg a day. Magnesium is also helpful, as are B complex vitamins. To reduce the inflammation of cramps and breast tenderness, try a primrose-oil supplement; it's a nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory that may work in ways similar to ibuprofen.  I don't think they make supplements for what I have.  Seriously...

So there you go.  I hope that these tips help you guys as much as it will help me. .... I hope. Later taters!

Diet Busters: Or as I refer to them.. heaven on a stick

I was reading an article on Everyday Health about holiday diet busters.  And someone of them made me cringe with the knowledge of exactly how bad they were for me.  Others, it didn't bother me so much.  I thought I would go through the list with you all and share in my misery ... and make you guys as hungry as it made me. :)  But keep in mind, at the above link, they give you other options instead of the butt enlarging, thigh engourging items below.

1.  Au Bon Pain Carrot Walnut Spice Muffin.  Call me crazy but anything with the word "pain" in it has to be kind of bad. I mean, I know it's french and all, but I don't want anything from a place that has that word in it.  But here's the kicker... that amazing, soft, delicious muffin??  550 calories, 24 grams of fat!!  Wait... my butt just got bigger. Crap.

2.  Dunkin' Donuts Chocolate Chip Muffin:  Again, another one that I can live without.  I think that there's a muffin consipiracy.  Really. Think about it.  When you think of muffin, you think "Didn't our forefathers eat muffins all the time??  They were good hardy stock!"  It makes you feel all warm and fuzzy.... but then you find out that the item you relied on is 590 calories and 24 grams of fat.  That's tantamount to going on the perfect date, having a little bit too much wine, bringing the guy home just to wake up alone with some money on the nightstand. *sigh*  Not that that's happened to me.  Seriously.

3.  Mrs. Fields Semi-Sweet Chocolate & Walnuts Cookie:  I would just like to say, my cookies would kick Mrs. Fields' cookies in the butt.  Just sayin'.  But here's the deal.. 310 calories and 16 grams of fat. Mine certainly doesn't have that many calories and fat in them.  I take the calories out. *cough* *choke* *looks for lightning to strike her dead*  Actually, their recommendation is Chocolate Chip Cookies made with part apple sauce. I hear it's pretty good. Check the above link.

4. Krispy Kreme Glazed Creme Filled Doughnut - 360 calories, 19 grams of fat. Again, something I can live without.  Doughnuts have never been a big deal for me. Although, if someone brings them to work and there's all that luscious glaze just calling my name.... I do generally give in.

5.  Jamba Juice Peanut Butter Moo'd - 860 calories, 21 grams of fat.  I have to say, I have never had one of these. I personally prefer the Strawberries Wild (250 Calories).  But they have to menu and nutritional info out up front so you can peruse until you find something that you like and fits your calorie count. :)

6.  Cinnabon Classic Roll - Now I know what you are all saying.  "But it's CINNABON!  Isn't it at least no calories when you are stuck in the airport and you are smelling all of that Cinnabon-iness??"  But no... sorry.  Even the airport Cinnabon will deliver you 730 calories, 24 grams of fat. I know.  But try to resist.  Put the earplugs you brought for the flight in your nose, and you won't smell it!

7.  Starbucks Grande White Chocolate Mocha - 480 calories, 20 grams of fat (with whole milk).  There are LOTS of fixes for this.  First, go to the Starbucks online menu and nutritional info.  Pick out the drink best for you.  First off, go with skim milk and no whipped cream.  But here's something I have been doing lately: Buy the Starbucks "Via" packets.  They are instant coffee packets but taste GREAT! I add a package of hot chocolate with it and VOILA! Cafe Mocha! Woo hoo!

So there ya go!!  

Wait... what? I have no excuse now?

DAMNIT! Foiled again!

I got my elliptical today. WOO HOO! Although now, all excuses for not getting cardio in are voided. But that's okay.  I put it together myself over the course of a few hours. And I was really excited.... but it was too good to last.  My elliptical has an adjustable stride length.  The kind were you pull the pin and adjust the bars.  But I went to adjust it.  So I pulled the pin... and I pulled... and pulled harder... got down on the floor and braced my feet against the machine and pulled with two arms.  NOTHING! 

My brand new NordicTrack elliptical is broken. *sigh*  But they are sending the part out and a technician. But I have to wait another week.  That's incredibly annoying.  No?

But I can now get cardio in while watching TV which I think it way cool.

Jennie's Advice

I recently discussed weight loss/exercise with a friend of mine, Jennie.  Jennie has a claim to fame on this blog by coming up with the title "Climbing out of the Lard Pit."  She's a funny gal!

Now, I have never considered Jennie overweight in the slightest, but she has been taking health and exercise quite seriously. She has some major self will and determination!  I wanted to ask her, since she has a rockin' post- *garbled mumbled age* body, what her regiment was and if she had any tips for me.

The first thing she said, and I totally agree, is that you have to make the decision.  I know that is the reason I was unwilling and unable to do anything about my weight before this.  I just hadn't gotten to the place where I was ready to do it.  Get your mind in the right place, and it will happen from there.

One tool that Jennie found extremely helpful for her and suggested for me is Livestrong's "The Daily Plate."  I took a look at it and it really is a great website tool.  It allows you enter how many pounds a week you want to lose and it calculates how many calories you need eat for that weight loss.  (Just don't put in 10 pounds for a week okay?)  You can track the foods you eat and get your calorie count for the day  - - which forced some accountability on you too. (As long as you don't "forget" to add that donut you had at this office. ha ha) You can enter any exercise that you do to find out how many calories you actually burned.  And the best part is that it's free.  YAY!  Something worthwhile that you don't have to pay for. Isn't that something?? :)

Something that worked for Jennie is the dreaded 'no eating after 8pm.'  That's a hard thing to do for night owls like us!  Also, if you need a snack during the day, pick something like one package of light string cheese (60 calories), or a piece of fruit or a veggie.  That is much better than chips out of the vending machine (even if they are baked chips).

For exercise, when she's not hitting the gym hardcore, she suggests an 1 1/2 hours at the gym.  I didn't write this down but I think that is an hour of cardio and 1/2 hour of weights.  When she's hitting the gym hardcore, it can be anything from yoga to weight training to cardio classes to treadmill, etc.  And if I'm correct, I believe she hits the gym twice a day when she's hardcore.  Let me tell ya -- this woman has some determination!!  Did I mention she runs marathons too?  I know... I think she's crazy too. :)  But what can I say? I like crazy people.

And so ends Volume 1 of "Fabbity Fab Advice from the Dr. Ruth's of Health and Wellness to the Attempting Escapees of the Lardpit."

Attack of the angry garden gnomes

So it has been a while since I have posted. My excuse?? Ummm.... I fell in the toilet and got stuck. And living off of the dog food that my dog brings me.....  Which is a good thing because my cat would just come in to get pet and ended up hording her own food.  I'm glad I got unstuck because she was eyeing me like I was a juicy T-Bone and was getting ready to Nom-nom-nom on my rather large toosh once I went to the golden toilet in the sky.  Don't believe it?  Ummmm..... I have been held captive by angry garden gnomes. They locked me in a room and forced me to play Scattergories with them non-stop for weeks.  I don't know why they have something against me.  I've never owned a garden gnome in my life.  Luckily, while they were arguing over how many points they get, I was able to gnaw through the ropes and escape out of the air duct.  (It was a really large air duct.)  No?? Damnit!  OKAY!  Fine!  I've been sucked into life and work.  *insert sigh here*  This life/work thing gets in the way of fun things like writing!

 BUT ---- now I'm back. YAY!  Did you guys miss me? Oh wait... I think I'm writing just to myself.  But that's okay.  So I have several things I want to write about, but I will do that in other posts.  Before I do that, I'll give you an update.

I finally stepped on the scale.  I KNOW!  I hate that thing, at least right now I do.  And as depressing as this is to admit, I am officially the heaviest I have ever been.  However, that doesn't mean that I will stay this way.  But here's the good thing: something happened lately.  I have been more positive, inspired, and ready to go.  You know how you have to have a point where you just get tired of it and decide to change things?  Well, I'm there.  It took a long time - try a couple of years, but I finally got there.

The other good thing: I bought an elliptical!  WOO HOO! Now I can exercise if I want to watch TV or if it is later in the day or in the morning before going to work. YAY!  I figure that even if I have it on lower resistance, it's still better than sitting my toosh on the couch!  And of course getting a decent workout in 5 days a week.  I'm excited!

So how is everyone else doing? Are you gearing up for the holidays? Or letting things go? Let me know!

Birthday food crash! (And helpful tips for the non-20 somethings.)

It's my birthday today!  (10/15) And as such, it is allowable to ... how shall we say? ....  steer away from the straight and narrow of the weight loss path.  Right??

RIGHT?!?!?!?!

I knew you would see it my way.

Now, I am laying on the couch and trying not to think of how full I am.  OH! Supernatural is coming on the tv.  Be back after.

Man... Jensen and Jared. SO yummy.  Okay... sorry.  Where was I before the testosterone made me all drool-y and all?  Oh right... birthday... and how it gives us the excuse to let loose!  Only to dread getting on the scale for the next few days.  But I am now officially closer to 40 than I am 30.  I should be allowed to let loose a little bit. SO THERE!

What??  I AM NOT SENSITIVE ABOUT MY AGE.

No.... I am not.

Am not.

Am not!!

Am NOT!!!!!

AM NOT!!!!!!

Sorry.  I don't know what came over me.   But really, the older you get, the harder it is to loose weight.  Recently I read an article about women's health on Prevention Magazine's website titled Win at Weight Loss How an exercise pioneer fights over-40 fat, and one of the tips given was:

"Many women think if they can't do an hour of exercise every day, they may as well do nothing," says Nelson. [Miriam Nelson, PhD] But you can see results with far less. Nelson should know--that's how she stays healthy: "There are plenty of days that I have just 10 minutes to fit in a walk. At least once during the week, I get in a run or bike ride. Then on the weekend, I exercise a lot more."

 This is a great tip! Especially for those of us who may be able to work out at lunch or right after work, but can't spend 6 hours in the gym.  The article goes on to give cardio schedules for different situations, whether you want to break out of a plateau, or lose some inches, etc. Go read it!  It might give you some ideas.

Okay ... waddling off to fight the food coma now.

P.S.  I may or may not be able to blog in the next few days.  Have tons of work that needs to get done pronto.  See you guys soon!

Biggest Loser 10/13/09

Another Biggest Loser! As I sit my toosh on the couch and watch. lol  Again - long, long post.

Why I am the way I am....

Serious Blog Post Warning!

For the most part, I have been pretty athletic in my life.  I started playing softball when I was around 10.  I played volleyball, but never played for the school team. (Because the coach hated me.  No seriously. She did.)  And I know that when I say this, you will say "What? You geek. That's not athletic!" But I was on the color guard, aka flagline, in marching band.  You may think that it's not athletic, but it really is!

Then in college, I was in Air Force ROTC. (I wanted to be a fighter pilot.) And let me tell you, they don't let you be out of shape.  Really.  Although, according to them, I was overweight.  Yeah... I was a size 8 or 10 at the time, but I was overweight. *sigh*  I also was on the crew (aka rowing) team/club.

But then came the first point in my life that I was truly overweight - when I was in an unhappy marriage.  Yeah.. I know.  It was stupid to get married at age 21.  Some people can do it! I wasn't one of them.  And he was a *BLEEP*.  :D  Then, after the divorce, miracle of miracles!  I lost the weight.  I started watching what I was eating and going to the gym.  It was great!  When I lived in Arizona, I stayed in shape by going to the gym and watching the food intake.  I got involved with Krav Maga (Israeli Self-defense/fighting technique).  Now that was addictive!  I practically lived there. 

But then......  grad school.  Dun dun DUN!!! At first it was okay.  Really, it was.  And then......  the grad student that was my prof's kicking bag was kicked out of grad school by said professor.  And guess who got the crap end of the stick? Oh you guessed it!  ME!  Keep in mind that I can handle hard work.  The work didn't bother me.  Getting abused by my professor did.  It was seriously like an abusive relationship, but instead of being able to say "Kiss my @$$ buddy, there's the door!", I had to take it.  My choices were 1) To give up everything I had worked for since I was 12 years old, but be happy. Or 2) Grit my teeth and push through it all, but be miserable and possibly lose myself in the process.  I chose to stay and get my degree. And I have to be honest.  There are days that I don't know if it was worth it. 

That experience changed me and not in a good way.  Every day, I had questioned whether I was going to get yelled at, never knowing what was going to set him off.  And I'm not talking just yelling. I'm talking the inch away from my face where spit actually hit me, threatening kind of yelling.  Not to mention that there were times I thought I was going to have to physically defend myself.  Then there was the verbal abuse.  Even other professors were shocked at what he would say to me.  (He didn't care if he had an audience or not. After all, what could happen to him?)  It was at a point where if we had one-on-one meetings, I would tape record the conversations just in case something happened, I would have proof.

And that was when I stopped working out and started eating.  I think why I became overweight and why I still remain overweight boils down to a few factors. 1) Being unhappy.  I used to cry all of the time.  It was a miserable place to be in my life, and I still feel traces of it now. 2) Lack of confidence.  I allowed him to destroy any confidence I had in myself.  To the point where I still have trouble speaking up about my professional opinion. 3)  Being overweight gives me a great excuse to not put myself out there and to stay in my comfort zone.  And 4) And probably the most important: He took away any control I had in my life.  That is a very, very scary thing for me.

The problem is, I'm still not over it.  I know I went through all of that for years before I could get out, and that I should realize that it is going to take me a while to work through those issues.  But the fact of the matter is, I have to.  If I want to get control back in my life, I have to work through these issues, grab the reins, and guide myself back on track.

So that's a shortened (Did I really say it was short? HA!) version of why I got to the place that I am.  Now... I just have to confront my demons and push forward.

Really? They had to do a study to know this?

I just read a short article about women's health titled Troubled Minds Can Mean Wider Waistlines that stated... 

"Common mental health disorders, such as anxiety and depression, may increase a person's risk of obesity, and people with repeated episodes of these disorders are particularly at risk, British researchers say."

 Really?  They needed to do a 19 year study on if depression and anxiety lead to obesity??  I think everyone knows that a large percentage of people  eat when they are sad or anxious.  That's a given fact.  But the good thing that came out of it was that they also found..

"Contrary to some previous research, this new study found little evidence that obesity leads to common mental health disorders in people with no pre-existing mental health problems, wrote Mika Kivimaki, of University College London, and colleagues."

Well, that's definitely good news!

I think that we all should examine what caused us to get to be overweight in the first place.  I read a few blogs (will insert links in an edit) that looked at causes of their being overweight.  And I've decided to bear all (not literally - don't want to make anyone sick!) about what caused me to be overweight in the first place.  Maybe once I confront it head on, I'll be able to move on. Here's hopin'!

Shopping, or as I like to call it, the descent into hell.

You know, I used to love to go shopping.  It was great to walk into work or go out with friends with a new outfit and just feel like you rock!  I literally have a closet full of clothes in my smaller size.  Cute clothes... all lined up, ready to be worn.  I can almost hear them say "Maybe today she will be thin!" Then I open the door, "Nope.  Stand down!  Still the same as always.  Anyone got some cards? We're going to be here for a while."

*sigh*

Shopping now??  I stay away as long as humanly possible.  I could have frayed jeans with holes and everything and still think, "I could get away with that for another week or so." Because let's face it, no one wants to go into a store, grab clothes that they think are their size, only to find out that when you try those jeans on, they won't go past your knees. Or you try to button that blouse and it looks like there are small keyhole openings all the way down the buttoned seam.  It's just too much to take!!

Now when I go shopping, I can be pretty good about picking my sizes so that doesn't happen too much.  But there are a couple of other things that happen when out shopping.  One:  What is it with designers thinking that everyone who is overweight has no sense of fashion?!  I have to say, it has gotten better, but they are still out there!  Is it so much to ask to try to make my boobs not look like two mountains? And to de-accentuate the fact that I have a shelf-ass?  (Def: Shelf-ass.  A type of shape of a person's derriere. In this such case, the shape of the buttocks creates the form of a shelf.  Useful for setting down items, such as drinks, cell phones, or a television remote, in one's possession if no table is around.) And it is always interesting when the store attendants try to tell you that it looks great on you  --- when you know that it doesn't.

Okay, I need to cut this short but let me just say: No matter if I have had bad experiences shopping or good experiences, the fact is that I can't wait to be excited to go shopping again! I want to wear my current cute clothes and go shopping for new ones.  And I can't wait to wear my small jeans again.  

But you have a pretty face... and other wanna be compliments...

I am sure that at some point, all of us have run into those people... you know the ones I'm talking about.  The people who really mean well, who want to give you a compliment.  But it just turns out all wrong. The ones that intend to make you feel better, but make you want to find the nearest gas oven and measure it to see if your head fits in.  There are all types of half compliments, but the one that drive me nuts?

"You have such a pretty face."

Now, I'm aware that people mean this as a great compliment.  But what it really means?

"You're face is pretty, but the rest of you is complete crap."

I swear, if I hear that one more time, I am going to strangle someone.  Or come up with really weird things to compliment like "Those sunglasses make your nose look so much smaller." or "Your new bra really hides the sagginess." or "The jeans you have on today make you have a much smaller muffintop!"  They are compliments! Just in a weird, psychotic, make-you-second-guess-your-appearance kind of way.

My question: Have you had 'compliments' like that? Did you ever say anything about it and if so, what did you say? (And bonus points if the other person responded with 'shock face.')

Biggest Loser 10/6/09

Some people may know this but I am a fan of the Biggest Loser show.  I love seeing people work and reach their goals.  I'm going to start giving my take on the show and what goes on.  I will follow the intro with a jump break so if you don't want spoilers, don't read below.

Caveat: I may forget some names or misspell them. Also, this is going to be one LONG post. Beware!

10 Reasons I Need to Lose Weight

Okay, the question is why? Why do I want to lose weight? So I can buy cute clothes? Of course. In case I run into Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki, I want to look hot.  Uh.. YEAH!  But that's not all.  Here are my top ten reasons for wanting to lose weight.

10.  So when I look at pictures, I won't want to bang my head against the desk, throw up, or cry.

9.  Because I want to wear my cute skinny jeans not my big ole bags that are loosely called pants.

8.  I might get asked out on a date??? 

7.  I love the beach.  And I'd prefer not to look like an elephant seal when I go.  Plus, the icky sardines people throw at me smell really bad. 
6.  I love to travel.  But two problems: 1) The size of airplane seats.  And 2) Some of the things I want to do, I can't physically do.  Like hike up a mountain, climb over ruins, grab the cabana boy and......  well.... ummmm..... yeah. 

5.  I miss having the confidence to even walk down the street.  Or just be comfortable in my own skin. Confidence is key and I have none right now. 
4.  I would LOVE to be able to go up the stairs without huffing and puffing all the way up.  And not be able to catch my breath at the top.

3.  Heath factors are definitely high.  If I don't do something, it could lead to type II diabetes, heart problems, etc.  My father had both of those and I tend to follow in his medical trends.

2.  I want to do field work!  In the Mojave, picture my friends on the next dune ahead of me, and Mary Beth at the crest of Kelso Dunes.  Me?  Taking the picture from behind because I couldn't get my fat butt over the next dune.

1.  I currently tend to not want people to see me like this.  I almost let it keep me from seeing one of my best friends at Christmas in 2007.  (And would have if he hadn't been so stubborn.)  That was the last time I saw him, he passed away October of 2008.   I almost kept myself from hanging out with a friend because I was so concerned about my weight.  I don't want that to happen again.

Why you should eat regularly....

You should eat regularly.  If you don't?? This is what happens:

OH YES!

Little for breakfast -- going on three o'clock for lunch.  I was STARVING.  What sounded good??  In-N-Out!  But boy it definitely was good.

Wait -- did I just slide down into that lard again??

The one thing I can't live without....

I have tried to give up this habit before. And once, I made it a whole MONTH without succumbing to its deliciousness.  But the one thing I can not do with out....

My venti iced caramel latte.

Honestly?  I think they may add crack to their coffee.  Or some throw some coca leaves in with the coffee beans to be ground up.  Something highly addictive.... like heroin.  Yup.  Heroin.  There's heroin in Starbucks' coffees.  That must be the reason I can not resist.  

And if I'm having a day I can't wake up?  I'll have TWO in one day!  270 Calories per cup!  Although, you have to cut me some slack.  I used to drink venti ice mocha lattes.  Ummmmmmm..... yeah.... I just looked it up...  A venti iced mocha latte with nonfat milk and no whipped cream is 250 calories.  I thought it was more.  Really.  Here's the kicker... with whipped cream, it increased to 370 calories!!  120 Calories for whipped cream?? No thank you.

I know that if I want to really get serious with this, I have to give up my lattes.  But to be honest, if I do, it's harder for me to stay on track.  But I will attempt it.  Really... I'll try.

There's a whole in my heart where my iced latte used to be...

My world seems so dark now......  

;) My question is: what is the one thing you can NOT give up in your weight loss journey and why?

In the beginning.....

First of all, I need to give credit for the title to two people.  One is my friend Jennie, who thought of the lard pit.  It's so apropos. :)  She rocks!  And let me give credit for the "Fabbity Fab Confessions" part of my title.  It comes from a British young adult series chronically the trying times of teen Georgia Nicholson, of which I read "And That's When it Came off in my Hand: Further Fabbity Fab Confessions of Georgia Nicholson" by Louise Rennison.  (Very funny by the way.)

Because I couldn't say everything I wanted to in the blog description, I'll expand it to what I wanted to say. :)

Yes, we all know how hard weight loss can be.  Kind of like... climbing out of a pit of lard.  I know in my case, lard could give me some great camouflage.  But really, how healthy could it be to live in a lard pit?  And it's bad for your skin too.  It is easy to say "I think I'll get out now.  I don't want get my skin all pruny." But actually doing it - actually climbing out is a whole different story.  In fact, it can be quite torturous.  You start out by getting a good handhold.  Determination sets in your eyes, you get that pursed mouth of single-minded resolve, and you climb those first inches out of the pit.  You're feeling good... but then.... the Evil King of the Fajitas and Chips and Salsa rears his ugly head!  Taunting you... tempting you... reminding you how nice it was in lard-land.  And you slip back down a few inches.  It's so hard to keep a grip!  Lard is, after all, very slippery. NO!  I will not give in to the evil sizzling platter of chicken and peppers!  I will ignore that never-ending basket of salty chip goodness!  Okay.. maybe just one. *slides further* And for every step you take out of the lard pit, you slide a little back.

But the real issue is this. . . why did you dive into the lard pit anyway? (Or slowly, gradually slide into its depths.) What happens when you get out? What will your new reality be?  After all, you really don't have to deal with many people as they don't like wading through the lard pit with you.  You will have to put yourself out there -- once you shower and get the stinky gobs of goo off of you.  (Really - lard doesn't do anything for hair either.   (Very greasy.)  That nice safe comfort zone of lard is gone.  Will you have to actually deal with people then? Oh no... and heaven forbid you go on a date. *gasp* 

But the reward is this:  You will feel amazing.  Powerful. Energetic. And those things that scare you now, won't scare you after.  You just have to keep one foot in front of the other.  No matter what happens, just keep going. (By the way, when I say 'you', I mean me. :) )

And to this purpose, I want to write this blog about my journey into the forays of weight loss.  My successes... and failures. (Trust me, there will be many!) I want to talk about my diet and my exercise.  I want to discuss what is keeping me from jumping back into it, and what it will take to get past it.  I want to document how differently people treat me as an overweight person and how it changes as I lose weight.  So, are we ready?  (And I promise, I'll try to keep the horrible pictures down to a minimum. ha ha)

Jules