Sunday, October 11, 2009

Shopping, or as I like to call it, the descent into hell.

You know, I used to love to go shopping.  It was great to walk into work or go out with friends with a new outfit and just feel like you rock!  I literally have a closet full of clothes in my smaller size.  Cute clothes... all lined up, ready to be worn.  I can almost hear them say "Maybe today she will be thin!" Then I open the door, "Nope.  Stand down!  Still the same as always.  Anyone got some cards? We're going to be here for a while."


Shopping now??  I stay away as long as humanly possible.  I could have frayed jeans with holes and everything and still think, "I could get away with that for another week or so." Because let's face it, no one wants to go into a store, grab clothes that they think are their size, only to find out that when you try those jeans on, they won't go past your knees. Or you try to button that blouse and it looks like there are small keyhole openings all the way down the buttoned seam.  It's just too much to take!!

Now when I go shopping, I can be pretty good about picking my sizes so that doesn't happen too much.  But there are a couple of other things that happen when out shopping.  One:  What is it with designers thinking that everyone who is overweight has no sense of fashion?!  I have to say, it has gotten better, but they are still out there!  Is it so much to ask to try to make my boobs not look like two mountains? And to de-accentuate the fact that I have a shelf-ass?  (Def: Shelf-ass.  A type of shape of a person's derriere. In this such case, the shape of the buttocks creates the form of a shelf.  Useful for setting down items, such as drinks, cell phones, or a television remote, in one's possession if no table is around.) And it is always interesting when the store attendants try to tell you that it looks great on you  --- when you know that it doesn't.

Okay, I need to cut this short but let me just say: No matter if I have had bad experiences shopping or good experiences, the fact is that I can't wait to be excited to go shopping again! I want to wear my current cute clothes and go shopping for new ones.  And I can't wait to wear my small jeans again.  


Anonymous said...

You better start saving for a monster shopping trip. : )

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